Isn't ILLEGAL illegal?

President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW
Washington, DC 20500

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and
extended family this summer, and I would like to ask
you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border
from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few
arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas,
passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they
handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President
Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him
know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all
services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking
teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture
and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on
the top of the flag pole at their school with the
Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both
breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I
can get easy access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I
won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does
not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone,
please be sure that all police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top,
put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic
celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints
or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without
paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or
tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be
extremely nice and never say a critical word about me,
or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do
all these things for all the people who come to the
U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't
mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help.